Wanting of my Life

 

What do I want most in life?

I want for those I love, and really for all people, to have eternal life.

I want the room Jesus has for them in heaven to be occupied by them.

I feel incompetent in achieving my greatest want because I feel powerless in conveying the truth to the sophisticated, intellectual, scientific, rational, moronic fools which don’t seem to GET it or at least don’t get it enough to acknowledge it.

 There it is, the whole idea of relationships and obedience.  Who is it that people obey when they don’t obey God?  How do they obey God when they don’t know what God says?  How do you listen to your heart when your heart is not filled with the mind of God?  Where do you find the mind of God without knowing the Bible?  How do you know the Bible if you don’t have one or if you have one and never read it or if you read it and don’t know the language?  How do we recognize holy spirit in our minds and hearts if we are not Christian and how in the world do we know Jesus?

 

What is the story buried within me crying to get out?  How will my story help me get what I want most in my life?  How will my writing move me towards peace and freedom?  I have written about freedom and tears and integrity and the resurrection. These pieces do move me towards peace and freedom.  Perhaps they move others as well, but it’s not enough. I want to grab more, more people to take with me to Jerusalem.

I listen to the “great speeches”, I read the “great books”, I want to be that great speech maker and that great book writer.  I want to be that one who makes a difference, a difference not in praise or glory to myself, but a difference in bringing another to Christ.  Like Matthew Winters said about Paul, he is the Christian bringer.  What a wonderful way of thinking about the apostle Paul.